Roommate problems are the same as marriage problems without the sex

Posted on Posted in Relationship, Spirituality

I used meditation in an extraordinary way today.  So, I’ve had this issue for a while where I get annoyed at my roommate for not contributing to the household chores as much as I think he should.

He leaves the coffee pot out for days without washing it.  He refuses to take out the trash.  He lets his dishes pile up.  As I’m writing this, I realize that I’m officially married to my roommate.  These are married-people complaints, right?

Anyway, it’s too late to go back now…  So he annoys the crap out of me, but for the most part I never say anything.  I try to ignore it.  Recently, I got fed up…  That’s it! I had to give him a piece of my mind.  But what do I say?  Knowing that this could only lead to a meaningless argument, I decided to meditate before talking to him.  I thought it might help me come up with the right words, in order to avoid fighting.

After meditating, I approached my roommate and told him I wanted to talk.  Already this sounds weird.  I’m having seconds thoughts about this.  Just as I’m ready to back out, I remembered that my roommate had attempted to plant and grow flowers a couple months back, but they never grew.  I lead our talk outside, to where he had planted the flowers.  I told him that I wanted to talk about how he can improve his business venture.  (As I’ve been coaching him on how to start his business.)  I started by reminding him about the flowers he had attempted to grow.  I told him that they didn’t grow because he forgot about them.  “You just  planted the seed in some dirt and left the rest to mother-nature.  It doesn’t work like that.  You need to tend to it.  You need to add fertilizer, water it, talk to it.  Maybe you need to do some research on youtube and find out how to care for this particular type of flower.  Only after you put in all that daily effort for a long period of time, will you begin to see this flower begin to sprout.  And after several weeks or months of continuing to care and love for this plant, you will finally see that beautiful flower bloom.”

I told him that his business venture works the exact same way.  “You can’t start a business by putting some items up for sale on your website and forgetting about it.  You need to nurture it by advertising, and enhancing your brand just a little every day.  I promise you that if you manage to plant those flowers and make them grow, you will make a profit in your business.”  That’s it.  That was pretty much all I said to him.

Great talk! wait, was it?  I didn’t even bring up any of the topics I wanted to talk about.  Fuck!

Later that day, my roommate approaches me and tells me that he’s grateful that I’m mentoring him.  He says that “in this weird marriage of ours, it’s nice to know that even though we may annoy each other at times, we’re still working together toward reaching our goals.

Things are only getting better now.  And there was zero arguments.  We kept our egos out of the discussion, and evolved to a new stage in our relationship.

Was meditation the cause for my calm, loving approach to finding an indirect solution to my problem?  Or is it all in my head?  What say you?


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